My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
