she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
