Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
