Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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