what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
