so explain again why im purple
no
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
