I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
