I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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