i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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