So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
