i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
