I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
