remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
