And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
