She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
