Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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