oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
