why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
