you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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