and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
