You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
