i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
