I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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