i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
