P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
