i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
