I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
