I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
