so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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