He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
