i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
