I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
