and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
