okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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