just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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