4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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