just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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