we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
