I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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