he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize