just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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