So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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