you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
