Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
