His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
