my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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