Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
