one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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