He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
soo... how was my night?
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