my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Randomize
