From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
