I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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